This could have been an email
Life lessons from over a decade of corporate work [from a working mom]*
*Below, I’ve captured insights from my experience showing up as a highly educated white woman working in the Tech and Consulting industries in corporate America. The lessons I share may apply well beyond my own demographic, but I can’t and don’t attempt to speak to the lived experiences of others.
I’m starting a new full-time role next week 📣📣📣. I’m excited, nervous, and ready to jump into a new career chapter post-maternity leave.
The search for this role was pretty painless and short, compared to those I’ve read about and seen in my network over lately. Still, any full-time job search will have a person stretched thin, overthinking their experience and worth, and anxious about a million potential outcomes.
My own recent search has me feeling reflective on the last decade + of my work-life. In a ‘letter to my younger self’ sort of way, I’m hoping to capture what I’ve really learned in these formative years of corporate work and how some of those lessons have evolved through the lens of motherhood. As with every advice-oriented piece I write, ✨ take what you need and leave the rest✨.
💸Money:
If 21-year old baby-faced me could see my bi-weekly paychecks now, she’d be in awe of how much money I make. But then again, she’d also be in awe of my monthly bills (hello, double daycare!) Current me knows that I’m deeply underpaid for my title, experience level, and industry. Cost of living and inflation biases are a real thing the longer you have been in the workforce. Remember to adjust your pay expectations to the market.
There is no paycheck large enough to pry me away from the luxury of a flexible work day and a supportive manager. Especially as a new mom.
Negotiate your pay before you join a new employer. You’ll never have more leverage once you’re in role. I will personally hype you up and help you prepare to negotiate - slide into my DMs.
Abundance manifests in many ways, but a paycheck sets the foundation :)
🔐Security:
When your employer says, “own your own career,” here’s what they really mean: work will never love you back. (Your workplace is NOT a family…) You are expendable and replaceable and its on you to future-proof your skills and abilities.
When your employer says, “own your own career,” here’s what you can actually do: know your worth and negotiate, be proactive when a change or a move is needed, find and leverage your corporate allies, don’t get too comfortable or complacent — upskill and stay relevant.
Connect the dots in your career, but don’t feel tied down to a traditional or singular “career path.” You can always build a narrative around your choices, so don’t box yourself in.
If you have a partner and a family to support, security will jump to the top of your job criteria wish list. You will make tradeoffs with your partner to ensure the smooth operation and security of your family. These tradeoffs can be painful and may result in career plateaus. Really investigate your strategy as a unit.
When torn between (equally secure) career moves, pursue the one that sounds more fun. Nine times out of ten, you won’t regret it.
You will make yourself stand out by taking on the hard tasks no one wants to do and knocking them out of the park. Ask your boss what they really need done urgently, even if its not sexy. You will build loyal and strong relationships this way.
🫂Relationships:
Work relationships matter. An existing relationship is more likely to get you your next job than your resume is. Find and hold onto your people - the ones that really get you and are honest with you. Be honest with them. Be generous with them. Be a corporate ally. Rack up that good karma.
Don’t overshare with new people. Don’t go above and beyond to help an asshole. Not every work relationship matters. Some just drain you.
If someone isn’t laughing or smiling with you [and this is a pattern], don’t get too close. This one is tough for the people pleasers to hear: Not everyone wants to be your friend. Not everyone believes in you. And, its not on you to convert them.
Find laughter and levity in your day. Try to bring it to someone else’s. It’s not that serious.
📧Communication and Branding:
Operate by your values, not your Myers-Briggs type assessment or any other personality test outcome. Your values are easier to remember and [if you live them right…] they’re how people will remember you.
Don’t send the angry email. Sleep on it.
Write your email like a man would. Less “!!”s, “I justs,” and “thank yous.”
Your workplace is not a democracy and there is no free speech. You can be punished for what you say (and do — obviously) at work.
🤰Being a Woman/Mom:
Bring a sweater to the office,
evenespecially on a 90-degree day.Take good notes, but don’t designate yourself as the meeting notetaker if you’re the youngest woman in the room. Resist corporate caregiving. This lesson also applies to planning team events and any number of other “extracurricular” activities.
Don’t ask the first question or make the first comment if you’re the most senior or extraverted person in the room. Your pause will subvert expectations and create space.
The corporate anti-harassment and bullying training should feel silly because of how unrealistic the scenarios are and how overtly clear the right approach is…if that’s not the case for you, then there are some big issues that must be addressed.
Center yourself, your own interests and growth in personal conversation. Don’t just share about your family and your role as a mother. Expand people’s view of what it means to be a working mom.
Resources:
My recent posts on work: Navigating American Workism, Returning to Work Postpartum, Working Remotely as a Mom
An intro to various types of careers, including the Portfolio Career
A Quick Visual Rest/ Feast for Reading 'til The End
-LJ
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Loved this post! So insightful. Good luck on your new role!!